


Better Days Will Come

by frostbitten_written



Category: British Actor RPF, Jaguar "British Villains" Commercial, Loki - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Catharsis, Comfort, Comfort fic, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Depressing, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Morning Cuddles, Nicknames, POV First Person, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, Protective Tom Hiddleston, References to Depression, Romantic Fluff, Sad with a Happy Ending, Showers, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Kisses, Tom Hiddleston Feels, Tom Hiddleston Is A Sweetheart, Triggers, gender neutral reader, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28492149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostbitten_written/pseuds/frostbitten_written
Summary: The gender-neutral reader is having a hard time dealing with their thoughts and feelings. Their heart hurts and their brain refuses to stop making unpleasant noises. Tom, their significant other, is there to soothe them and comfort them in a time of need.
Relationships: Tom Hiddleston & Gender Neutral Character, Tom Hiddleston & Original Character(s), Tom Hiddleston & Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston & Original Female Character(s) of Color, Tom Hiddleston & Original Male Character(s), Tom Hiddleston & Reader, Tom Hiddleston & You, Tom Hiddleston/Original Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s) of Color, Tom Hiddleston/Original Male Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	Better Days Will Come

**Author's Note:**

  * For [In memory of my grandfather](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=In+memory+of+my+grandfather).



> Inspiration: Quite literally looking at Christmas lights through blurry vision. I cri-
> 
> There are mentions of anxiety and depression in this fic. If you need help, get help. Take care of yourself, friends. This is a vent-fic. The sorrows the reader feels aren't specified, you can mentally fill in the blank. 💕
> 
> tw /// COVID , death:  
> After a very hard year, and a particularly jarring last few weeks, I'm finally back. I'm not 100% just as yet, but I'm back, with a little vent-fic. This year (2020) has been the worst year I've ever experienced, along with many others in the world. I think after everything, it would only be right to close with a hopeful note. The last time I posted something here on AO3, was the afternoon my grandfather was admitted into the hospital. A month later, he succumbed to COVID-19. His passing was absolutely the worst thing I had ever been through. I've never felt this level of grief; I've never felt this alone, abandoned and incomplete. He left me so abruptly, and I'm still not over it. Because of that, I'm posting this vent fic. 
> 
> I'm acknowledging my own pain, along with anyone else who's been through hardship this year. It hasn't been easy, but better days will come.

It was three in the morning.  Just about everyone in a mile radius was asleep, that is, except for me. 

I had spent the last few hours, ringing in the night time, by reading, scrolling and staring into the unknown. I knew  _ why _ I felt the way I was feeling, yet, there was  _ nothing _ I could do about it. 

I just cried. 

The sensations swirling in my stomach, and the palpitations of my heart were enough to make me feel sick. I could have practically hurled the contents of my dinner, but nothing would come of it. It was my anxiety and the uncertainty; it was the hole in my heart, and the dread the emptiness made me feel that threw me off. 

I just dry heaved as the hot tears streamed down my face. 

I was sitting on the couch, the Christmas tree alone was lit, the rest of the decorations had been shut off hours ago. The lights shone brightly, illuminating the dull, yet glittery ornaments hanging off the faux limbs of the tree. 

My knees were folded tightly against my chest. I hugged my limbs closer, fighting off the urge to let out a loud sob. I couldn't risk waking up my beloved, Thomas, from his slumber. 

Tonight was my battle.

They say that nightmares only wait for sleep, but tonight, as I learned many nights before, they haunt me as I wake. 

The incidents of my past, horrific enough to qualify as a nightmare, replayed in my head on a tragic loop. It made my skin crawl, and my breathing falter. My body shook uncontrollably, for no one to see, but for me alone to feel, to process, to deal. I blinked through blurry vision and watched the clock change by the minute. 

It was three thirty-eight in the morning, now three thirty-nine. 

I shifted my gaze towards the Christmas tree Tom assembled while I was away at work. It was a lovely surprise, enough to warm my chilled heart. The hazy lights danced in time with my flickering eyes.  I sniffled and closed my eyes, allowing myself to acknowledge the fear and pain life had dealt me. 

It was now four o’clock in the morning, turning four o’ one. 

I quietly tiptoed to the bathroom and shut the door. I shed my nightgown, tied up my hair and stepped into the shower. 

I needed to feel something, something other than the cold and the pain. I yearned for some warmth… _any_ warmth, something heated enough to boil away the pain that crept along my raised skin. I needed the ache in my throat to disappear, just as much as I needed the ache in my heart to cease. 

I turned the valve, and the shower sputtered to life, spewing lukewarm water; I didn't bother touching the cold knob. 

I let the water run down my skin, feeling it transcend from warm to hot to fire. 

I didn’t mind. 

Maybe it could burn away the dirt left behind or numb the pain, just for a second. 

Maybe… _just maybe…_

I sank down to the floor of the shower, letting the water slap harshly against my back. I sobbed yet again, my body shook violently, it became hard to breathe the urge to heave, in _three… two… one…_

I hauled for breath, my body doing me disfavour; my head spun out of control. 

All of a sudden, I heard a gasp beside me. 

The water immediately turned off, and I began to shiver again. I was met with the tired gaze of a shirtless, sleepy Tom. He knelt down to my level and draped a soft towel over my shoulders. 

“Come out now, darling.” He held out his hand, and I accepted it. 

He pulled me up and into his chest, hugging me tightly to his person. I could feel his heartbeat and his breathing sync in time with mine. 

Although my skin practically crackled with heat, I still shivered in his embrace. 

His skin, cool in comparison to my own, forced a shuddery breath from my lips. He held me close, keeping the towel pressed to my dripping skin. He kissed the top of my head before pulling away. He clenched his jaw and looked down at me in sheer concern. 

We exchanged wordless yet knowing glances. 

In silence, he gently swiped the towel along my upper body, stealing quick glances as he went. His eyes were weary, yet filled with concern and sincerity. He handed me the towel and gave me a bit of privacy. 

“I'll go get you some nightclothes. We'll talk in the room.” 

He stole a moment and placed his lips against mine in a chaste kiss before leaving the bathroom.

Once I dried off, I left the bathroom, steam spilling out past the open door. I shivered as I made my way to our bedroom. 

Tom was seated on the edge of the bed. He shot me a friendly smile and handed me some clothes. He offered a sheepish smile when he saw my expression. 

"I know you like to wear my clothes. Put them on," he urged me in a gentle voice. 

I smiled and gratefully accepted them as I slipped them on. There was a moment between the two of us that was as thick as knives could cut. It wasn't an awkward silence, it wasn't tangible tension but rather something else, something heavy yet light at the same time. 

Within the seconds it took us to sense it, we were in each other's arms. He pulled me back into an embrace, tightly holding on to me. I returned the gesture with great appreciation, inhaling his intoxicating scent. 

I felt at home in his arms; I felt safe, I felt happy. 

We decided to get into bed. Tom slipped under the covers and scooted over, making room for me. He threw his arm over me, our legs tangling with each other. We snuggled under the sheets and grew content being in each other's presence. 

There was a moment of quiet, the only sound being heard was our breathing and the occasional rustle of the bedding. 

“What happened back there?” 

His words cut into the silence, breaking the airy comfort bubble around us, more so around me. 

“I just couldn't deal with it. The feelings, the memories, everything just came crashing down on me tonight," I trailed off before mumbling, "I didn't want to bother you about this again.” 

He protested against my words, silencing me with his own lips. 

“Don't ever say that. If it's important to you, it's important to me." He reassured me and ran his hand through my hair. 

"It's okay; it's fine that you've said it many times. I'm here for you as you are here for me.” 

My words got stuck in my throat; I didn’t know what to say. I repeated exactly what was on my mind, yet again. 

“I just don’t want to bother you with anything that you’ve already heard before. I've been told how irritating repetitiveness can get and I don't want to annoy you.” 

He shook his head and kissed my cheek after listening to me ramble on. 

“You don’t annoy me, so stop thinking that. What you do that  _ does _ annoy me, however,” my blood turned cold, and I laid still waiting for the worst, “is your lack of confidence and love in yourself." 

His voice was calm, sincere and sweet. 

"I just wish you could see what I see, all of the perfection and strength that I see…” I closed my eyes and hummed in response, taking in a deep breath. 

I didn’t want to ruin the moment with the filth that was bothering me. Now’s no longer the time, maybe tomorrow. For now, I just want to enjoy this moment, feeling loved, warm, comfortable, safe, and in his arms. 

“I won’t force you to tell me, but just know that I am here to listen. Whatever it may be, even if I’ve heard it 100 times, it’s worth the listen if it crosses your mind yet again.”

We sank back into our comfortable silence, and the tears began to flow all over again. I couldn't help it; it was just too painful to handle. 

Tom rubbed my back and cooed sweet things into my ear. He didn't tell me to stop or to get over it; he didn't get mad at me or tried to fix me. He just let me feel, grieve and deal. He occasionally wiped away my tears and continued to hold me close. 

As my sobs eased for the night and the morning birds began to chirp, signifying a new day's arrival, he whispered, "Hang in there, darling. **_Better days will come._** "

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned earlier, this was a vent-fic. I just needed to feel less alone in all that's happened recently, and of course, as usual, fanfiction was my safe haven. I hope that this little ficlet helped others as well. Lots of love to you all. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. Find me on Tumblr @ frostbitten-written (https://frostbitten-written.tumblr.com).


End file.
